5 Steps To Dating Courageously
Any stage of a relationship is an opportunity for personal transformation and meaningful connection, whether you are swiped to the altar or just on a fun date. You can enjoy the adventure regardless of whether you find love, a useful lesson, a quirky conversation, or a stronger sense of self.
You can use the Bumble dating app, the women-first social networking app, to make the most of every moment while you are searching for the one or the next right one.
Date courageously by following these five tips:
1. Keep your focus on the present
It is easy for our minds to fast forward when sparks fly. Even after only a few dates, you might find yourself planning your wedding or naming your first pet. You might even start to fear heartbreak before you even know if they have siblings. While it’s natural for the mind to wander, we do ourselves and our date a disservice by not staying present. Look at the unique flecks of color in their eyes and be curious about them. Stay connected to your body when you are with them, and listen to the way they laugh. You will be able to determine if this is the person you really want in your life by gathering all the information you can at this moment. Now is the time to be here. Taking it one breath at a time. Keeping track of dates.
2. When it doesn’t work, walk away
Bumble’s Head of Insights, Jemma Ahmed, says 1 in 4 people on the platform are newly single after a breakup. The pandemic was at its peak at this time. It may sound sad, but it can have a positive outcome. According to Jemma, the lockdown enabled many people to end relationships that weren’t working and to focus instead on themselves. There are times when we stay in a relationship for the wrong reasons. It might not be the most ideal thing for us, but we figure that it is better than being alone. If the chemistry isn’t there, we enjoy the experience of being liked even if the chemistry isn’t there. There may be some serious red flags we are ignoring. Examine whether your energy could be better spent elsewhere if you’re investing it in a relationship. A new beginning can also come from an ending.
3. Honesty is key
Playing it cool makes dating stressful. Anxiety arises when we wonder what to reveal about ourselves or when to text. It’s cool to be yourself on a first date, but don’t share your most embarrassing moments. Being seen (and having someone dig what they see) is one of the happiest feelings ever. In the meantime, spending hours crafting the perfect text message or pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting. There is a possibility that you may not even recognize yourself. It is important to be with someone who likes you for who you are at the end of the day. We just quoted a romantic comedy – what is it? The key to finding true intimacy is to be yourself, be free.
4. Make your needs a priority
Take notice if you stop investing your time and energy in other areas of your life while you enjoy the blissful pleasure of romance. Maintain a balance between work, self-care, friendships, family, and dating. Pay attention to the areas of your life that matter. In this way, you can use the other areas of your life as resilience resources when you experience challenges in one area. List the non-negotiables that support your health and happiness. Take care of your sleep, your bestie’s weekly Zoom call, and your daily meditation practice, for instance. It’s possible to eat your cake and have it too. Relationships that are most successful are those in which independence and interdependence are both valued. You should continue to pursue your hobbies, dreams, and personal goals.
5. Don’t take rejection personally
It’s understandable. No one likes to hear the word no, but it’s helpful to remember that a no is more about another person than about you. You might not be able to get into another relationship with someone if you ask them out. There may be another person they are dating, or they might be overwhelmed with tasks. The more we stop taking rejection personally, the more opportunities we have. Rather than worrying about whether they will say yes, ask for what you want (a first date, a partnership, or a romantic night in). Let go of the weight of a no and celebrate a yes. You can help yourself with that by meditating. Whatever happens, don’t forget to enjoy that sweet feeling of being brave and asking for what you want. Having a light-hearted attitude will free up a lot of time and energy. Ice hockey legend Wayne Gretzky said, “You waste 100% of your shots if you don’t take them.” So put yourself out there knowing you can handle anything that comes your way.